My Suckumentary

At work today (at Target), I was assigned to infants. That includes "infant hardlines" a.k.a. toys, bottles, and diapers. I felt like Tibby from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Any job where your "work" gets distroyed in 5 seconds by a shopper leads to thoughts of worthlessness and dialogue such as, "Why should I line the edge of this box up with the shelf?" But no one is there to listen.

This is only my third day to work at Target, and I do not think I like it, but I have learned a few things. Since this is my second job in retail, I've realized that there are a lot of differences between T and BRFS but there are also lots of things that are standardized in retail. People who work in retail are similar; it's an easy job that attracts slackers and people who don't want to work extremely hard. To be good at it requires someone to really have a passion to make a difference to others, otherwise the simple tasks that retail workers have to do seem meaningless. Sometimes I think that if I start thinking my tasks are important, then "THEY" will have brainwashed me. So I try to keep a healthy perspective while I work. I remind myself that my tasks aren't the important things, it's doing my work to be a good employee. As far as working at T, I have gotten barely annnny training at all on the way things actually work. The hour and a half video that was called training was mostly to tell people to not join unions. One of the employees gave me good advice for T, and turns out to be good advice for life. He said, "Just do things your way until someone tells you to stop." I put that into use tonight, and I closed down infants like a badass. Dan was mad because I didn't understand the standards for baby food, but then I showed him what is up.

I think I have been operating life with that attitude mostly since I was about 14. When I get an idea into my head, I think it's possible right until it fails. This summer for instance, has been about proving myself. I told my Dad I could save money, and that I could pay for my bills on my own. In my eyes, I still have about 25 days to make that money. I'm doing ridiculous things to make that money: babysitting random families, independent contract work, working retail (for the same amount of money that I was paid when I was 16 to work retail), cleaning a ridiculously dirty house; and that's not to mention the extents I have gone through to not spend too much money.

Sometimes I have been sad about not being able to go through a fast-food restaurant without feeling guilty about the wasted money, but the opportunities that I have had in College Station have more than made up for the cravings I haven't been able to feed. My opportunities have mainly been in the realm of relationships. Without school, there have been few things to keep me from seeing or calling anyone I want. However, some relationships have still done better than others, and I know that availability isn't the culprit.

I wonder why some people are friends. Wondering about how married couples got together and how they stay together is common because their relationship has to be strong and deep. But friends have to be deep, dedicated and selfless, too. Two people can be extremely different and still be friends, and I want to know why. Jessica and I are really different, and we still haven't figured it out. Haha. Eventually, she and I will solve the riddle, because that's what friends are for!

Yes, solving riddles.

Timeless

Timeless, as in, I don't have much time to write. Since I wrote in this blog the other day, I want to write more and more and more! But I've always had a problem with making myself too busy. This weekend is no different. Everything I have done are things I wanted to do, but I guess I want to do too much. Tonight I am going to write out all my thoughts. And then I will feel better. Hopefully.

Free Spin

Today is probably a little bit past the halfway point of the summer, but I'm going to write about my entire summer anyway. It's been quite a wild ride. Today for instance, I learned that I need to practice a "free spin." It's a move that relies on tension and balance. In a lot of ways, my summer has been full of tension and balance as well.

I started off with the idea in my head that I was going to be working 40 hours a week, every week, from May to August as a camp counselor. However, I quickly found out that I would not be getting that many hours, and that I would be done working for the city of Bryan on July 10.

So I have had a quite constant nagging to find jobs to make money. In this economy, it's been extremely difficult! However, I have found some random endeavors that have been helping ends meet. And whatever I make in this upcoming month will be going to my savings account for school this next semester. All of this is leading up to the point that my summer has been extremely random and very different than I thought it would. I have enjoyed each minute though!

I've learned a lot about motivating myself, holding people true to their words, patience and saving money. I have also accomplished things like learning how to dance better, spontaneaity, How I Met Your Mother, relaxation, and why I like to run.

Hopefully, I'll get the free spin dance move down before school begins. And then I can add that to a list of things I have accomplished this summer.