At work today (at Target), I was assigned to infants. That includes "infant hardlines" a.k.a. toys, bottles, and diapers. I felt like Tibby from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Any job where your "work" gets distroyed in 5 seconds by a shopper leads to thoughts of worthlessness and dialogue such as, "Why should I line the edge of this box up with the shelf?" But no one is there to listen.
This is only my third day to work at Target, and I do not think I like it, but I have learned a few things. Since this is my second job in retail, I've realized that there are a lot of differences between T and BRFS but there are also lots of things that are standardized in retail. People who work in retail are similar; it's an easy job that attracts slackers and people who don't want to work extremely hard. To be good at it requires someone to really have a passion to make a difference to others, otherwise the simple tasks that retail workers have to do seem meaningless. Sometimes I think that if I start thinking my tasks are important, then "THEY" will have brainwashed me. So I try to keep a healthy perspective while I work. I remind myself that my tasks aren't the important things, it's doing my work to be a good employee. As far as working at T, I have gotten barely annnny training at all on the way things actually work. The hour and a half video that was called training was mostly to tell people to not join unions. One of the employees gave me good advice for T, and turns out to be good advice for life. He said, "Just do things your way until someone tells you to stop." I put that into use tonight, and I closed down infants like a badass. Dan was mad because I didn't understand the standards for baby food, but then I showed him what is up.
I think I have been operating life with that attitude mostly since I was about 14. When I get an idea into my head, I think it's possible right until it fails. This summer for instance, has been about proving myself. I told my Dad I could save money, and that I could pay for my bills on my own. In my eyes, I still have about 25 days to make that money. I'm doing ridiculous things to make that money: babysitting random families, independent contract work, working retail (for the same amount of money that I was paid when I was 16 to work retail), cleaning a ridiculously dirty house; and that's not to mention the extents I have gone through to not spend too much money.
Sometimes I have been sad about not being able to go through a fast-food restaurant without feeling guilty about the wasted money, but the opportunities that I have had in College Station have more than made up for the cravings I haven't been able to feed. My opportunities have mainly been in the realm of relationships. Without school, there have been few things to keep me from seeing or calling anyone I want. However, some relationships have still done better than others, and I know that availability isn't the culprit.
I wonder why some people are friends. Wondering about how married couples got together and how they stay together is common because their relationship has to be strong and deep. But friends have to be deep, dedicated and selfless, too. Two people can be extremely different and still be friends, and I want to know why. Jessica and I are really different, and we still haven't figured it out. Haha. Eventually, she and I will solve the riddle, because that's what friends are for!
Yes, solving riddles.
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